SO I told Ray, we should race each other...my AC against his 10R at the annual Earth Day event and his standard answer was (come on now.. say it with me)  BRING IT ON DUDE!....     well...  Earthday 2006 came and we set up.. and I said to Ray... HEY... when are we going to race? and his reply was (right here...)   BRING IT ON DUDE!...  but his boat never made it to the water.  Things went helter skelter, I went out.. and Ray was off somewhere gathering free trees...  I came back in and Ray went out....    Mando and I were innocently talking when some hairy belly dancers got up on the stage and started playing some middle Eastern music causing Mando and I both to have "Beirut Flashbacks" and were forced to retire from the scene.  Ray came back in and I wanted to go back out but was still having visions of giant bowls of Falafel and incense which weakened my constitution. End result... we never made it on the water at the same time. The one time we were on the dock together,  there was no course, no start line.. no one with a watch... it never came together.

SO... not to see a repeat of this happening again... I went PUBLIC this year... and the wager was made that I would put up a bottle of Ray's favorite...  ol Cap Morgan's private stock.... against my favorite  a TWO-FOUR of  Labatts Blue eh. For you non-Canadians and/or non hockey fans that's a CASE here in the States. As fate would have it... they were priced exactly the same so the wager was made and the trash talk began.

We both looked forward to the big day... and lesson number one to be learned from all this is NEVER try to beat Ray Seta if the weather is involved.  I think when Ray and JK went to Hollywood... they must have sneaked off the Universal Studios tour bus and stolen the only working version of Dr. No's weather controlling machine.  11 days of rain melt away magically for the OD-39 regatta to come off on a perfect Sunny day... and there was not even any mud around the lake? This is not possible, and yet I was there to see it happen.  The whole thing was predicated on a *typical* light air day and Woodcalm Lake.... but this was BLOWN (literally) out of the question when the predicted winds, Hi and Low level progs, barographs and everything the NWS and USGS could provide from satellite imagery to Punxsutawney Phil... were no match for Secret Seta and his weather making machine. 15+ was the order of the day... and I mean the WHOLE day.  Rarely did we see Sunshine, and with it's departure went any hope of beating a 10R in it's premium environment.

Ray was in fine feather knowing that he had the upper hand and then some, and I showed up with the booty in hand and ready to be handed over to the Booty guard, Mando.  When I was taken to the secret Pirate vault within the clubhouse, I looked for the case of Labatts and was told... that's it there....   pointing to a case of O'Doulls NON-ALCOHOLIC BEER.   You can imagine....  easily enough what I thought about that.  HOW could one be mistaken for the other? I asked Mando... HOW??? Can you mistake LABATTS Blue.. for  #$%$#ing  O'Doulls NON-ALCOHOLIC beer? Mando said... beats me... Ray told me to get it. So.. we went in search of the now SUPER Hacker COMMODORE Ray Seta who immediately began an argument as to WHO it was that bought the beer... and I saw my entire world crumbling. I was ready to take my trouncing and then retire to the homestead at least with the chance to take in the Dallas Stars v Canucks game #6  in style.... and now that was gone as well.

So, it was time to get the boats in the water... and I went to my boat and knew I had some funny business with the RMG winch last year (the last time I sailed it) I had taken the time to inspect and make sure it was working in the shop two days earlier. It appeared to work albeit with some unusual start up tones.  I fired up and launched and the boat sailed fine for about 2-3 minutes, and then the winch failed. Disgusted, because I could already feel the hooting and howling from the Seta crew for not having a perfect boat... I bent down to pull it from the lake just in time to see my cell phone fall from the pocket in my official "Larry the Cable Guy" vest and plop into the lake.  My day is getting worse,  no winch, no beer, no cell phone...

After we tried reprogramming the winch for about 20 minutes,   we finally managed to snap the drum line on the winch which ended that argument altogether.  Ray on the other hand, was adamant.. HE WANTED A RACE!  He had the perfect weather to showcase his boat, and he must have sold SOMETHING of importance to the weather gods, and he was not going to let it go to waste. SO...  out of desperation, he offered me the use of HIS  AC boat and I accepted.  JO agreed to call the line, Dave ran the 1 minute timer (us pros don't need 2 minutes)  and I was able to play the one card I had in my hand. I have TONS more experience in letting other people sail my boats... and I an not nearly as unnerved when someone points a $6,000  boat at the dock and brings it in on the weather side with one hand to stop a 90 lb boat. Ray on the other hand was a nervous wreck...  and when you watch the tape of the first race you will see my most excellent Port start that cleared the transom of his boat by less than 1" much to the distraction of Commodore Seta. He was complaining halfway to the first mark...  hehehehe....  I was pleased that Ray only had about 5-6 lengths on me at the weather mark.  You can hear Ray say  "I am trying to build my one leg lead" and my reply of  "Good Luck..."  as we approached. 

The 10R is faster, but not THAT much faster.  Unfortunately,  something fouled the AC boat upon rounding, and the video will cut to the 10R coming around the Lee mark.  The video doesn't show, but the AC was still at the weather mark, dead in the water in 15 kts of breeze.  It took some time to get the boat back to the dock where it was discovered that the topping lift on the jib had snagged a spreader and the boat was pretty much locked up.  Ray was able to repair it, and we tried again.

Race # 2   Ray took the Port start and I took the starboard, and with the 10R's quickness in stays he made good on his tack just off the line and for the next leg we had a good show of what the two boats could do.  I over stood the mark WAY too much because I just flat didn't see it that clearly otherwise we could have had a good race out of this... but ...  we came downwind and turned the Lee mark and went back after it again...  but this time something was wrong.  I don't know if it was the rudder,  or a weed or what... but the AC performance was crippled. I had made up 4-5 lengths on Ray who when for the VMG downwind (it works in real boats)  but you can see when he rounds I come in right behind him... but then something goes wrong and he can literally sail away and leave me,  doing a 270 and catching back up... something was seriously wrong.  The video shows the AC boat tack and luff up,  and then cuts.. what it doesn't show is the AC boat in irons as I backed it up hoping that it was a weed or something on the rudder that was causing the problem.  I was there for several minutes while Ray sailed around, to the dock and back, to the mark and back,  and then finally I got the boat to accelerate back and seemed somewhat normal again.  We took off for the mark and Ray cut it short....  either HE missed one... or he did it on purpose...  only HE knows.... hehehehe....  but the bottom line was by the time he rounded the AC boat was on it's best point of sail and bringing it home.  There was no way that Ray could close the gap... and there was no way that I was going to call that a "win"  so after rounding # 7  halfway to the line  I luffed up and Ray came up and went outside the finish line as neither of us wanted that one either.

Ray asked me if I wanted another... and I said No thanks...  I knew that I was not going to beat a 10R in it's element and made that totally clear over a year before... the whole idea was to see the two boats in less than 10kts. So Ray couldn't resist and offered me the 10R and he would take the AC...so HOW could I refuse that?

Race 3

The start was fairly normal for me, but Ray was having some troubles and got off late. We actually clipped masts at the start with both of us on Starboard and going in opposite directions, I to weather Ray to leeward. He turned in tight enough I never had a chance to react and fortunately the masts didn't foul each other.  I razzed Ray about hitting me, but he didn't see it. If you listen on the tape you will hear JO say as we are approaching the lee mark "it's all on tape guys" and this is what he is referring to. Ray tried as hard as he could to get some more out of the AC boat than I did, but was quite a distance behind when the weather mark was rounded the first time.  Downwind was the same story as before, and turning back to weather the 10R was stretching things out a bit.  Ray said something about  "Can't win with a damn slow boat" as I rounded the weather mark the second time and started back down to # 7.  Ray aborted going to the weather mark and cut across the course and I we just sailed the down and back for the fun of it.  The wind lightened up a bit, and you can see the AC boat improve it's position downwind giving Ray the lead into the mark and I followed him around.  I know how much Ray loves to cover, and that it was going to be a challenge since the AC is about half the quickness in stays that the 10 R has so after 2 tacks away from the mark, I through a double tack on him and if you listen very carefully you might hear Ray say "Well... I can't do that" and you can see the 10R rocket away from the AC because of the acceleration and quickness in stays.

THEN comes the moment everyone has been waiting for,   I thought we were just finishing things out and I tacked in front of Ray thinking he would just match it... and as the video shows, he never wavered and plowed right into me as I came onto Port.  It was totally MY fault and I apologized to Ray as it cost him his second bow bumper off that boat, and needless to say Ray was not a happy camper.

SO...after all this...    broken drum winch line on my AC,  dropped my cell phone in the lake, I now have to go look a case of NON-ALCOHOLIC beer in the face....  after being stupid and causing Ray to knock off his bow bumper...    what ELSE could happen?

Well.. what else... I had been had by Mando and Ray both...    as they had put the REAL Labatts Blue INSIDE an O'Doulls box just to screw with me... and it worked 100%.   My advice is NEVER play poker with Mando...  he actually had me feeling sorry for him getting the wrong beer... and I will NEVER trust either of them out of my sight again as long as I live.

Thanks to COMMODORE RAY SETA for the loan of his boat, and I regret the loss of his bow bumper but happily can report that he has two more spares, so I won't be forced to rip the one off my boat and give it to him.  I told Ray, "I will get you next year" and somehow the groan he let out was not one of enthusiasm. I can only hope his weather machine breaks down by then, or I will have to drag my old 10R out and refurbish it with 21st  Century technology.

Thanks to JO,  who was not feeling well.. I hope he is better after this, and Dave for the timing, Eric for the posting, Mando for getting the RIGHT beer and look forward to next year.

LL